Home

Who's Who

Pastoral_Care

Rector's Letter

Services

News/Events

P C C

Activities

Youth

Guide

Fund_Raising

Missions

Contact Us

The following is the monthly letter from the Rector of Cranleigh,
Rev'd Canon Nigel Nicholson, as it appears in the March 2010
edition of St Nicolas Cranleigh Parish Church Magazine:

When my mother lost her husband, killed in action on the North West Frontier of India, she could have come home to begin a new life, in the hope of ensuring that my eldest sister would have a new father and perhaps siblings, but she remained in India and ran the Swiss Hotel in Naini Tal, a beautiful hill station of the Raj. There she met a man who had come up for three week's holiday from the plains of Bangalore. They quickly fell in love, whilst sailing on the nearby lake, and after just three weeks this eligible bachelor proposed to the young widow. He was always known as 'Nick', and my mother actually had to send a telegram to find out his proper names, so that the banns could be read.

A whirlwind romance, perhaps, but they simply fell in love, and knew that they could be happy together - and indeed they were, until my mother died, aged 61. Three children in all, and six grandchildren followed. Marriage is never easy, but, like a great adventure of faith, it will work if we seek God's will and not our own.

This past week, as I write this letter, I am about to baptise three children whose parents have not yet got married. It seems the norm in many cases, and I ask myself the question 'Why?' I have couples coming to see me about getting married, and I am already booking weddings for 2012. 'Why wait so long?' I cry, 'You love each other, then get on with it' - thinking of my parents. And the answer invariably comes back, 'We have got so much to prepare and to organise'. What is it that takes so long to prepare, and why? I think, sadly, we have got so much involved in image and trying to make 'The perfect day', but, as I often say, it is those weddings that go slightly wrong, when it is pouring with rain, or the wedding car breaks down - events over which we have no control - that are made memorable and wonderful.

One of the happiest weddings I have been to was when the family had to re-arrange the whole wedding party just two weeks before the event. Everybody came on board, contributing with the catering, with the decorating of the hall and the transportation. It became a truly family affair, and the church hall, which was the only venue available, hideous from the outside, was transformed into the most perfect wedding setting. Even I was enrolled to collect thirty helium balloons from a local shop, and Benet was confused as to what was going on! As I walked along the side streets holding on to these balloon, many a strange expression was written on the faces of passers-by - and to one I said, 'I am practising for my Ascension!'

It was simply a wonderful and happy day - no pretentiousness but just a family gathering, full of prayer and love for this couple, who wanted no exhibition of wealth, but to express the true riches which are found in people who genuinely love each other and commit themselves to God before family and friends.

We are overtaken by this desire to have 'a perfect day'. The wedding fairs have a feast of it: the wedding dresses and photographers all have to be the very best and most expensive. There's always an attempt to be slightly different from another wedding, and we are missing the point of it all. At heart, it is about two people who love each other and want to commit themselves to each other, hopefully before God, and with their family and friends. Far better, in this age of recession, to put down a deposit on a home, rather than spending huge sums of money on a day that passes in a flash.

What is this perfection that we seek? Is it part of the society in which we live, where we cannot accept failure or things going wrong? Is it a lack of self-confidence, when we cannot just be ourselves, without always trying to make an impression? It is often through our failures that we learn about ourselves and we ride the storm of life, as we struggle and carry on. The perfect world does not exist on earth, but it will do in heaven. Our journey is about seeking those things that are above, where, with God's help and Our Lord's encouragement, we shall find that in the moment of peace and tranquillity in our hearts we shall experience a moment of heavenly perfection. It is fleeting, but it encourages us to go on striving and building that Kingdom of Heaven.

As we continue through this Lenten season and try to understand something of Jesus' teaching, he says to us, 'The Kingdom of Heaven is like this', and he is deeply aware of the frailty of humanity and the brokenness that exists in every society. Even he himself had to experience all the emotions that we experience: the failure of others, the promises broken, the sense of aloneness, and even, for a moment, a feeling that he had been abandoned by his Father. At the end of this month we shall celebrate the great festival of Palm Sunday, tinged with huge acclamation but also with a fear of what was about to come - Maundy Thursday and the Last Supper, Jesus surrounded by friends who would all run away and leave him on his own.

Where is perfection in all of this? It does not exist. It is only when we trust God, even in the worst moments of our lives, when we live through the suffering of the Cross and experience the power of Resurrection, that we

realise that it is only in communication with God and him alone, that we experience a sense of deep perfection. This Easter, let us try and be realistic and recognise that so much in this world is fleeting and without value. It is the gift of the Spirit expressing God's love for us that is the true worth.

Nigel Nicholson